Gator Wrestling My Ass Out Of COVID Country
Gator rape is real.
I've Got To Get The Heck Out Of Dodge: The Feds Are Gaining On Me
I’ve been hunkered down here in my apartment in Southern Indiana for so long that I’m actually starting to engage in conversations with myse
BANNED IN THE USA: Come on, America! Stop Eating Hot Dogs Like A Bunch of Wieners
Rumor has it that's the reason the South lathers up their hot dogs with so many toppings. Got to keep those wieners adequately covered,
I'm Headed For The Hills: COVID Is Closing In
Paranoia, bears, hillbillies and the inability to live off the land.
F*ck Y'all Quarantine Vegans, I Need Some Meat!
Author’s Note: Being in public relations must really suck. These people sit in an office all day, firing off emails to deadbeat journalists in hopes of gaining some media coverage for their clients. Most of the time they get ignored. Hell, I personally dodge hundreds of them every stinking day. And on the rare occasion that I do spot something enticing and reach out with some interest in doing a story, the email exchange is about as boring as it gets – kind of like boning thr
Smell My F*cking Balls, They're Magnificent!
I often teased that if Dante would have worked fast food before writing “Inferno,” sweaty balls would have been deemed the Ninth Circle of H
